I am a single Mom to two handsome boys. I have always been honest and open with them about everything because when I was growing up that wasn’t always the case for me. I would like to know what they learn is important and what they should know about life and how to treat others is a priority.
Let’s be real here, I don’t want to be raising an a**hole!
Wouldn’t it be great if guys had to take a class like “How to Be a Good Man or Husband” or “How To Be a Good Boyfriend”? I think it’s best that they learn while they are young so that by the time they get out into the real world, they aren’t running around breaking hearts and ruining lives.
So I decided to start a blog post series to do just that.
Our first lesson is Being Honest About Your Intentions!
This will be probably something I share with them throughout their entire life as it relates to dating and relationships. I honestly thought these conversations would happen later but I now find myself the parent of a 16-year-old who has his first girlfriend. I pray every day he doesn’t get his heart broken and I pray he is a good guy, respectful and considerate and a gentleman.
I feel like I have to teach my boys the significance of being honest about what they want! If more guys were like this I’m sure we could prevent so many heartbreaks by simply encouraging more future boyfriends/partners/husbands to be honest. It’s important to know what you want in life, but it’s equally important when it comes to the partner that you want. We should know what we’re looking for in a match, or at least have some idea of what we hope to find. When it comes to our intentions, it’s important to be honest, upfront, and direct with people you date, so that you don’t mislead others or cause anyone pain.
I will remind them again and again, it’s never good to play mind games, lead people on, or string people along. There is no reason to mislead others by having ulterior motives or by lying about your intentions. I will explain that they should be free to date who they want when they want but if you’re not looking for anything serious, and are possibly looking for just a hook up, someone to have fun with or perhaps just have someone to keep you company, or someone to attend to different functions, events, etc., be honest about it.
I don’t have daughters and based on my conversations with my friends that do I don’t ever want one of my sons breaking a girls heart. It hurts to get mislead and mistreated so if I can raise one or two fewer a**holes I’ve done a good job as a Mom. And let’s be honest, one day one of those girls is going to be my daughter in law, I would really like to continue to have a relationship with my son and his family and stay out of a nursing home if I can. I always tell my boys, “I don’t care who you love as long as the person you love, loves your mama!”.
The reverse goes for this as well, don’t pretend or try to act like you want something more than you do. If you want something serious with long-term potential, make sure that you don’t pretend, don’t act like you want the same things as someone else who doesn’t want something serious, just so they’ll keep dating you. Thinking that perhaps one day they’ll come around to something serious doesn’t work! You need to figure out if the person you are with is on the same page. Don’t waste your time or anyone else’s by lying or sticking around hoping that they’ll change what they want now or in the future.
And boys, don’t let anyone fool you or string you along, saying that they’re open to the idea of what you want when their actions don’t match up to their words that is a big heartache waiting to happen. Now most likely it will be the boy not being honest but there are some girls that do not have a clue what they want. I know I broke a lot of hearts in my past because I didn’t know and then I settled. That’s another lesson…